just a lil pitfall

i've been having trouble deciding what i wanted to tackle for my next blog, as it was only a week or so ago that i decided this wouldn't just be about living green but about feeling green as well. though this weekend should have been filled with friends and family activities, i felt once again discrimination in my friend choices. as my birthday is fast approaching it has become even more relevant that this decade should be the time of my life and i am just not accepting that. instead i tend to dwell on whatever little situation hurt me most recently and focus on that rather than everything good - as i am most typically one to show my emotions on my sleeve i am having trouble faking a smile to those i choose to disapprove of; i know i should be more willing to see around the situation and not let it affect me, but it will as i personally invested serious time. i just can't seem to comprehend it, but i have to understand that not everyone is the same. though i've never truly thought of myself as a giving individual, i guess in comparison to many others (many of whom i've friended, invested time in, etc) i am the Gandhi or sorts (of course, extreme exaggeration). it's unfortunate, and the only words that could get me through the weekend were from my parents, desperately seeking their wisdom now more than ever before, and making me dream of when i can visit again.